I have a dream!

I say to you today, my friends, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream.

-Martin Luther King, Jr

I’m a dreamer. I love to dream. I dream about following my dreams and I get this warm fuzzy feeling inside. It’s all unicorn like and lovely when it’s this happy unattainable cloud of dreams floating ahead of me. Once I start to question what this dream cloud consists of, my mind suddenly struggles to make realistic forms from this abstract concept. What are my dreams?

When I visualise what my dreams are, I come up with the strangest thoughts!

Images of nature, vitality, healing, words of inspiration, freedom, feeling connected, naturalness, self-acceptance…

I like to think of these more as the inspiration behind a dream. Anyone who has a real drive to follow their dreams and change the external has a deep hunger inside to fix something within themselves. If anyone has read Steve Jobs biography, he was ‘broken’. He was ‘abandoned’ by his real parents, then his first foster parents abandoned him too. Though he was young, this left a deep hunger in him to make his impact on the world.

To tap into what you are hungry for, maybe it’s best to analyse those areas where you feel most broken?

1)      I feel physically broken (health) – I constantly need to fix my health, when I can fix my own health, I want to help other people become healthy too.

2)      I feel inferior – I have been made to believe my needs mattered less than others. This makes me want equality in the world. People, animals and the environment must all be treated fairly. Everyone should be their natural selves and feel they are no better or worse than anyone else.

Once you can identify what those broken areas, you know what drives you. The next step is to identify what you love. These are the things that you still entertain even when you feel absolutely shit, broke and tired.

Stuff I love:

1)      Health food

2)      Writing

3)      Music

4)      Movement – dancing, exercise, yoga, walking

5)      Culture Experiences

6)      Nature Experiences

7)      Natural products (clothes, cosmetics etc)

8)      DMC’s (I was introduced to this acronym last night – deep meaningful conversations 🙂 )

The things you love are the tools you can use to bring about what you are driven to do. If you use the wrong tool for the job, no amount of drive is going to get you where you need to be. It’s OK if what you love changes over time, there is a reason why you love what you love at a point in your life, use it to get to the place you are inspired to be.

Now that you have identified your inspiration, drive and tools, let’s describe the end goal or career you could get into. This is the part I absolutely hate the most. Call me crazy but thinking of long term end goals and careers are not for everyone. Do you think if Steve Jobs was asked what his dreams were that he could have been able to even describe what the Apple concept is today? No! He loved typography in college and this ended up being one of the only classes he went to before he dropped out of college. This later became important because he was the first person to add fonts to desktops. Now this is not everyone’s approach, we all have our ways of doing things. Don’t jam a screw into a hole that doesn’t fit. If you have always dreamed of being a doctor or something similarly tangible, great! For the rest, don’t let what you already know about the world limit what your dream should be! Stick with knowing what inspires and drives you, the dream will become less abstract when the time is right.

If you are seriously considering chasing your dreams, you’re probably dreading all the comforts you might have to give up and the hardships you will endure to get where you want to be. It won’t be easy, anything that you don’t have to work for will not seem valuable anyway. Keep in mind, you don’t need to be so drastic. I don’t know why so many books on spirituality or following your dreams (think the alchemist, bible, Koran or any other religious books) like to make you believe you need to give up everything and follow this new way. I’m not a fan of this! Any change like that can scare anyone away from pursuing what they love. Like any diet or lifestyle change, unless you are literally about to die and have to make drastic changes this instant, rather make small adjustments until you automatically want to let go of the old ways of doing things. You don’t need give up everything or have everything figuring out now.

Lastly, you will need to identify the next step to follow your dreams, not the next million steps…just one step in the direction of your dreams.

Next step:

1) Health: Step 1 -> I have my ideas on what it is to eat healthy and exercise well. Put it into practice 5 out of 7 days a week. Journal it.

2) Inferiority: Step 1 -> Write! Write at least 2 posts a week.


In taking that first step, you have already started following our dreams…


Childhood Room

Video and music for the scene:

Hear: Silence, breathing

Taste: Metal

Touch: Your fingers are cold

Smell: Sweat

Feel: as if you are being observed, anxiety

See: Darkness

A memory from my childhood room, I was 5 years old:

I woke up feeling very groggy. I opened my eyes and was surrounded in darkness. The room was so pitch black that I couldn’t see anything around me. The night was deathly still, not even a breeze blowing. The temperature was stifling and the room smelled of my own sweat. The intimidating thick blackness around me forced me to stay in my blankets, it was a protective measure. I was feeling very anxious. I looked across the room to my window in anticipation of some light. I could make out the square frame of the window. Some light at least. Something wasn’t right. I looked at the window again and I could just make out the outline of something hanging in the window. I wanted to disappear. I wanted the power to make myself shrink smaller, I needed to hide. I held my breath as much as possible so as not to call any attention to myself. A metallic taste spread across the back of my tongue. I had to keep my eyes on the window. I could make out a rope hanging from the top of the window and a figure below it. I couldn’t panic yet. I strained my ears my ears if I could hear any sounds in the room. The sound of my short breaths magnified in my ears. I wanted to yell for my mother. I couldn’t. If some entity was in the room, it would find me.

I kept my eyes glued to the window – any sudden movements and I would run to my parent’s room. The blackness around me was thinning around me, my eyes were adjusting. I started to make out other objects in the room. Parallel to my bed, I could see the position where the door should be located, a slight frame and blackness. Below the window in front of me, some of my teddy bears and dolls were strewn around the flood. I couldn’t see this for sure but I had some recollection of leaving them there; I could just make out fuzzy objects lying around the floor in that area. There was a dresser to the right of the window, just before the door. I didn’t really want to look there…what if I caught a glimpse of something in the mirror, eyes…it felt like I was being watched. The texture of the blanket was feeling rough against my neck, my head felt light from the lack of breath.

A slight wave of relief swept over me. Another recollection from earlier in the day, my child sized bunny was left in the window and it was my skipping rope hanging from the top! My eyes and mind were now fully functional in the dark enclosure. Even with this realisation, I couldn’t bring my eyes to face that mirror, I could still sense a foreboding presence in the room…

Scene Cut!

We have 5 senses to interact with our surroundings. I like to think 6, feeling is also a sense. How often do we use them all? I’m currently doing a creative writing course and have been tasked to write using all 5 senses. I’m very used to using all 5 senses when I’m in “survival mode” –  such as the above. It must be the adrenaline that kicks in, it causes everything to slow down and causes all my senses to come alive.

If I want to write using 5 senses, I need to start observing my environment using all 5 senses. Through trying to use 5 senses this week, I think I’ve discovered one of the best techniques at being present. Through out the day and going through various interactions, I would keep asking myself what I was sensing. It was a totally different experience. I became so much more present and the mundane suddenly transformed into being interesting…

Just driving in my car, I went through the motions:

I felt the sun rays on my skin.

I could see sunshine and beautiful green mountains around me framed by my old Toyota.

The slight smell of flowers around me (I was on a road with no cars).

I was feeling elated, almost heightened.

I was eating coconut chunks in the car, and the taste of this was still lingering in my mouth.

I could hear – Nikki and the Dove : Drummer. I had ear phones in ( This can be seen as enhancing or detracting from an experience – either way having music can change the whole dimension of the experience.)

Life on steroids!

#digiwrimo , #day11